Schmetterlinge in weiß






Right back from dress rehearsal

Oh Dear!
We had a debat on principles today! I can't believe it! We're a Gospel-Choir! We are singing about our faith and our believe in God! So why you cannot raise up your hands to show that you're standing behind the thing you want to tell the people? I really can't believe it! "It seems like we're in a sect." WHAT?! Oh, I'm sooooo pissed off now!
It was our dress rehearsal today. Well, it went very well. I expect the best from our concert on Saturday. Things will work.

This weekend I spent at my parents' house. It was great! I really miss them! Evenmore when I was with them and came back to my flat!

On Tuesday is my last exam for this semester! I can't believe it! Finally! So I have to learn the next days. But I think it will be easy becuase I'm very into this theme.

I really need to have a boyfriend. But not anyone. I still want this guy... Let's call him Ryan. Yes, Ryan. That fits. Ryan. Ryan is mature, grounded and very smart! A perfect man. But he doesn't wants me. That's what he told one of my friends... But it is not my fault -he is now in a crisis and can't image any girl by his side... Well, alright. But don't think, I'll wait for you... ah, this is so damn stupid!!! He's the first guy I would say, who's not like the others I met before! Hello, I'm already 22 years old! I don't want to get married after one year. I want to be together for more than 2 years...

Great would be a man like "Edward Cullen" in Twilight Oh, this strong and boundless love... hm... "I was born to tell you I love you"

Okay, sometimes it happens quicklier as you expected it to happen

Keep your eyes open while you're going through your life!

22.6.09 23:00

Thoughts at midday


Do you know that - You're at home, don't know what to do... I slept quite long today and now I feel borning. My friends are at work or in university and me... I'm sitting here, drinking my coffee and think.
Sometimes I asked myself what would have happened when I went to this Musical-School a few years ago. Where I would be, which people I would have met... And on the other hand everything is good, as it is. After my marticulation I had the possibility to go to South Africa and work there in a school for half a year. I decided not to go and to move out of my parents' house. I was working in a hotel and then, more by a fluke, I did a placement in a childern's house. There I found my way to the social worker study. And that is what I want to do. I don't regret this decision.
But although I'm thinking about where I would be today if I took the other way.
I like to think about what would be if... In all kind of ways. It's very thought-provoking.
In the end everything it is like it should be. I already told you, nothing happens without a reason. That's why I'm here and that's why it is good.
In earlier times, there was never the thought about being the leader of a band. I always saw myself as a singer, as a musician without leader-position. And now, I am a leader. People count on me and partly the success of our concert lies in my hands... That's pretty scary
But whatever I like it and it brings fun!

Today I'll visit my parents. They live next to Berlin in a quiet place. All around are trees, fields and there's no traffic noise.

So I don't know if I'll have the time to wirte again, because I will savour the time with them
So, I say bye bye -see ya tomorrow

Nothing happens without a reason.

19.6.09 14:27

Ups and Downs


Wonderful... I wanted to have lunch on my balkony and it was raining the whole time. Well, it was drizzling, ok... The weather is so strange today... It's like my feelings...

Yesterday I couldn't sleep. I thought about what my friend told me.
Maybe it isn't so easy to let things go. I get very nervous when I'm thinking about meeting him and that he'll tell me how the stands torward all this things. Torwards me... But you know what? It is fine. I anticipated it... It's not unexpected.

Today I decided to go to our rehearsal room to try some variations on the piano. Well, in the end, I think I'll leave the song like it is. But I noticed, that I have to practice more on the piano. It felt like my fingers won't run over the keys like I want... But at what time? There is no time to do it... awh... I wish I would have my childhood pino here in my little appartement, but yes, in my LITTLE appartement... Just my guitar has its place... But it's not the same as playing the piano. Whatever.

I discovered my passion for "Jason Mraz". It's nice music.
I guess what I'll be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I got the sweetest compliment while I was working today. Beside studying I'm working in a kind of children's house and I'm a "day-mother" -it's like baby-sitting. The boy is 5 years old and sooooooo cute!!! And today he told me:
"Soni, when I grow up, I will marry you!"

ell, ask me again in 25 years Then we'll see

And I go my first results for this therm! 15 points - it is the same like an A+ !!! Great !!!

Tomorrow I'll visite my family! I'm so happy about it!
So, okay... I will finish now. It's late and I want to sleep.

Good night everybody!

18.6.09 22:50

My first entry

I often thought about doing my first blog. But I was never sure if I should do it or not. I still don't know. But I decided to do it anyway.

And today it's the first day, I have time to start it... I'm sitting here, in my little appartement in Berlin, with a neck brace, wine and some music in the backround.
Maybe I also started, because it was a great day... Most of the day was great.

For me it was quite a revolutionly day. Does this word even exsite? "Revolutionly"? I don't know. This could happend often... I'll wirte down any words and don't know if they even existe... Whatever....

My day started with pain... Yes, with pain. Because of my accident at sports this Monday... While I was playing basketball... This could only happen to me... There is this big area and this crappy ball hits my head... Yesterday I went to an orthopedist -with my new pullover, which I messed with coffee in the first hour in university... Well, he was so rude! Ah! I was so angry after I left the surgery! I could scream, jump, cry! I was so so pissed off! And...I still had pain! So today I went to another one. And she said, I have a compression in my cervical (???) Now I'm wearing a neck brace... very attractive... On my way to visit my friend and my goddaughter the people looked at me as I was an alien or something...

My friend and I met near "Kantstraße" next to "Zoologischer Garten". It was so warm! The sun was shining and the wind was very comfortable... And I was wearing this long brown pullover. I love it, but for today it was too much... She asked me to come with her to organize the "Gateaux" for her daugther's christening. Her daugther is my goddaughter...
It was so nice and this little girl is so cute!!! I enjoy every second with both of them! It is like the sunshine comes, when I spand time with them. My friend found some great and yummi cakes and gateaux! Oh, I look forward to this christening! I think I won't eat anything for three days, just to tast everything there
After that we went to "Vapiano" to have some Italian food. Hm... I love it there. It is very simply and modern designed. A lot of wood and Italien herbage in glas cabinets. We sat down upstairs in red armchairs. Had some food and went to Häagen Dazs... Hm... The best sin ever!

After that you'd senn me - spinning around with the hoover and a neck brace!

Then she called me and told me she'd some news...

A periode of waiting, hoping and doubing is over now. Well, I feel like this day was like the last side of a chapter in a book. Today a new chapter will start and everything should be like it is. You know, everything has its reason, no metter if it's good or bad... For other people this "news" would be bad... On one hand they are but on the other they are a chance to let things go.
Maybe I don't know what this time will give me for my future but I am sure it had its reason. So I'm happy and curious what will happen next...

So I will finish my first day with these words.

Don't miss the things which happen to you every day.

17.6.09 23:00

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